


Sirius's Night Out

by cait_stewart



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Beer Inflation, Belly Kink, Bloating, Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Farting, Friends With Benefits, Inflation, M/M, Not Actually Mpreg, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, References to Mpreg, Shameless Smut, Smut, Stuffing, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, gassy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-19 16:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cait_stewart/pseuds/cait_stewart
Summary: Coming home to your boyfriend after a night of eating Trollish food and drinking Butterbeer by the gallon is not advisable unless said boyfriend is provenly welcoming of the consequences of said activities.





	1. Chapter 1

“Pads, hey! Did you have fun?”

Sirius groans. He's half-sitting, half-reclining on the sofa, his long legs sprawled in front of him. 

“I'm pissed.” he says, without opening his eyes. “Drank way too much.” 

Remus chuckles, getting out of his jacket. _Leave it to James to put Sirius in this state_. 

“Merlin's beard, yeah, I can tell.” he says, suddenly noticing how bloated his boyfriend's normally flat stomach looks. “Butterbeer?” 

Sirius nods, eyes still held firmly shut. 

“For a dare. We ran into a couple of blokes from Hufflepuff, things got a bit out of hand. Oh, Moony,” he adds, in a miserable tone. “I feel _so_ full.” 

“Well, you look it, too.” says Remus, his dick stirring in his pants. “Let me see.” he adds, in a soothing tone, joining Sirius on the sofa. 

Sirius groans again, lifting his too-tight t-shirt to reaveal a rather impressively distended stomach. 

“Wow, it's huge.” comments Remus, in what is probably too awed a tone. Sirius opens his eyes, a knowing smirk suddenly painted on his handsome face. 

“Right.” he says, sounding both amused and pleased. “I forgot you're into this kind of stuff.” 

“I'm not...” starts to protest Remus, but Sirius lifts an eyebrow. “Ok, I am, but that doesn't mean I'm not sorry that you're not feeling well.” 

“Moony, I can see your hard-on from here.” 

“Look, it's not my fault.” says Remus, trying to sound dignified. “It's not a conscious response.” 

“Oh, but I'm not complaining.” says Sirius, with a laugh that ends in another groan. “Ouch, not a good idea. Moony, I'm only glad you can get your kicks out of something as dumb as me drinking six pints of Butterbeer in one go.” 

“Six pints... ? You didn't.” 

“I did too.” says Sirius, grimly. “And that's on top of dinner.” 

“Can I... can I touch it?” 

“Go ahead.” 

“It feels so hard.” says Remus, tentatively caressing Sirius's swollen stomach. “And warm. Does it hurt?” 

“A bit. It's mostly just... really full. Uncomfortable.” 

“Do you want me to undo your trousers?” 

“Do you want to undo _yours_?” asks Sirius, again smirking. 

“Don't be a jerk, I'm just trying to make you feel better.” 

“Moony, really, no need to get all defensive about this. Watching you get off would at least distract me from the fact that I look like I swallowed a pumpkin – as long as you don't want to stick it in me, though, because frankly I don't think that would be a good idea – _ouch_.” he says, wincing, a hand to his lower belly. “Bit gassy.” 

Remus licks his lips, transfixed. 

“Ok, take off your trousers and your pants.” he orders, patting Sirius's bulging stomach. “We're making the most of this.” 

“What do you have in mind, exactly?” inquires Sirius, unbottoning his jeans. “Oh, this is much better already.” he says, his belly expanding slightly once free from the constraints of the fabric. “Blimey, I look pregnant.” 

“You do.” says Remus, his hands exploring the curve of Sirius's bloated belly hungrily. “All big and swollen. Merlin's beard, Sirius, you look so fucking hot. Look at the size of this!” 

“It's really big, isn't it?” says Sirius, archingly his back slightly to make his stomach look even more rounded. Remus can see that he's getting hard, too. “Do you like me like this, Moony?” 

“I fucking love you like this. Wish you'd get even bigger.” 

“Well, you're in luck then.” announces Sirius, with just a hint of a blush. His cheerful willingness to explore new ideas in bed, no matter how random they might sound to him, is one of the reasons Remus loves him so much. “I really don't think my dinner agreed with me. I'm afraid I'm in for quite a lot of additional bloating.” 

Remus lets out a moan. 

“Can I suck you off?” he asks, looking at Sirius with eyes that have gone very dark. “I really want to make you come while you're all stuffed full like this.” 

“Blimey, Moony, do you really need to ask? By all means.” says Sirius, struggling out of his underwear. _He really does look pregnant_ , thinks Remus with a frisson of excitement, staring at the sharp transition between Sirius's flat pubic area and his inflated lower belly. 

“Can you even see your dick from up there?” he asks, kneeling before Sirius's red, leaking erection. 

“Just barely.” says Sirius. “Oh man, I wasn't joking about dinner making me gassy. I feel like someone stuck a hose up my arse and just started pumping air into me. Listen,” he says, lightly rapping his fingers on his stomach, “tight like a fucking drum.” 

Remus feels his own dick throbbing madly inside his pants. 

“Fart if you need to.” he says, running his hand over Sirius's gigantic stomach. “I'd quite enjoy that, actually.” 

“That's very lucky.” says Sirius, grinning down at him. “Because I really don't think I'll be able to stop myself at some point. But for now I'm – _ow_ – not quite there yet. The gas still needs to travel down, I guess. Man, I'm a blimp.” 

“You're the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen.” says Remus, and he takes Sirius's dick into his mouth. Sirius's belly is getting so swollen that it's hard for Remus to get his face close enough to swallow the entire lenght of Sirius's dick. Sirius moans, bucking his hips slightly. Remus can tell by the urgency in his movements and by the way his balls are already drawn up tightly that it won't take him long to come – and come he does, copiously, straight into Remus's mouth. 

“Thank you.” he says contentedly, a slightly unfocused look in his eyes, his legs parted to accomodate his ball of a gut. “That was great. Do you want me to suck your dick now? I really don't think I'd be able to get down to my knees, but maybe if you stand in front of me... _ouch_ , this was a strong one.” 

“Is the baby kicking?” jokes Remus, getting back up to his feet, as Sirius rubs the inflated side of his belly in an attempt to soothe his cramps. 

“Well, sure feels like it.” says Sirius, spreading his legs even wider. His face is rather pale, but he's smiling. “Looks like it, too. Do you wanna feel for yourself?” 

“How did even you manage to get so much air inside yourself?” asks Remus in astonishment, pressing down carefully on the tight surface of Sirius's stomach. He can feel huge bubbles of gas pass under his hand. “This can't be normal. What did you have for dinner, exactly?” 

“James insisted we try that new Trollish tavern on Knockturn Alley.” says Sirius, wincing. “And I hope that he's exactly as miserable as I am now, the git.” 

Remus has a brief, thrilling vision of a great swollen belly jutting out from James' thin frame. 

“I can rub your belly, if you want.” he says, stroking the top of Sirius's bloated orb. “It might help you get the gas out.” he explains, his dick once again twitching in his pants. 

“You know.” says Sirius, with a grin, as he gingerly manouvers himself to a supine position “If I had known that you're actually into the idea of me farting, I would have spent a lot less time and energy trying to be polite. Well, I think I must almost be done.” he says, patting his huge, towering belly. “I really hope this is what full term looks like for me, I'm starting to fear it might be twins.” 

“Merlin's beard, Sirius.” says Remus, rubbing his erection throught his trousers. “You look unbelievable.” 

“Yeah, unbelievable is exactly how I feel.” says Sirius laughingly. “But not in the way you mean it, I bet. C'mon, get your dick out, let me at least wank you off. You look like your head is about to explode... wait.” he adds, comprehension suddenly dawning on his face, along with an impish grin. “You're holding out because you're hoping you'll get to _fuck_ me. Am I wrong?” 

Remus feels himself get very red in the face. 

“Well.” says Sirius, his dick starting to perk up again. “Things are actually still feeling quiet enough on the Southern front, if you catch my drift.” he announces, screwing his face in what Remus supposes must be an exploratory push. “And from the look of you, it would be the treat of your life. So – we can give it a try, I guess, if you want to?” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, really. But you need to help me up and to the bathroom first, I'm dying for a piss.” 

“Oh man, Sirius. I can't believe you're letting me do this.” says Remus, carefully pulling Sirius up to his feet. Sirius winces, a hand quickly travelling to support his sloshing belly. 

“The gas is one thing – even though we'll see if you're still on the same page once it starts coming out, Trollish cuisine doesn't exactly smell nice even before it goes in – but the Butterbeer dare really was a mistake. My belly is so fucking heavy, I feel like I can hardly stand.” 

“Let me help you.” says Remus, putting both hands on Sirius's enormous stomach. “I feel terrible for being so excited while you're in such discomfort.” he admits, trying very hard to not press his erection into Sirius's waddling backside on the way to the bathroom. “But frankly I don't think I've ever felt this horny in my entire life.” 

“Oh, I can tell.” says Sirius, plopping himself down on the toilet. “Honestly, it's all worth it just to see you looking at me like that.” he adds, piss streaming out of him for what feels like minutes on end. “Aah, much better. Help me up again?” 

“Your belly hasn't deflated one bit.” comments Remus, as they both wash their hands. “How is that possible? That sounded like gallons of piss.” 

“I think it's more gas still.” says Sirius, rubbing his huge gut pensively. “I feel much lighter, but things are getting _really_ packed in here. We better hurry.” he adds, with a wink. 

Remus swallows in anticipation. 

“Ok.” says Sirius, carefully lowering himself on the bed. “How shall we go about this? Drawing my knees up to my chest sounds extremely dangerous, given my present condition. Besides, I don't think you'd be able to get close enough to me to actually stick it in. Do you want me to get on all fours?” 

“If it's not too uncomfortable for you.” says Remus, his mouth completely dry. “Honestly, whatever feels best for you.” 

“This is not too bad.” says Sirius, getting into position. His dick is fully hard again, standing rigidly against the lower slope of his inflated belly. “C'mere, get me ready. If you dare stick your fingers up this ticking time bomb, of course.” he says, with a laugh that makes the great ball of his stomach shake and contract. Remus works franctically to get rid of his own trousers and underwear. 

“Ok, I'm getting you slicked up.” he says, casting the appropriate incantation on Sirius's exposed hole and on his own fingers. Sirius moans. Remus, with great difficulty, resists the temptation to just jam his dick in there and then. “Ready for a finger?” he asks, stroking Sirius's bulging belly. 

“Yeah, yeah, just get on with it.” urges Sirius. “I need you inside.” 

“I'll go as quick as I can.” says Remus, his dick throbbing and leaking pre-cum, and he sticks the first finger up Sirius's arse. For a split seconds he expects all the air to come rushing out of Sirius's distended guts, but nothing happens, except Sirius's moans getting more intense and urgent. Remus adds a second finger, and soon he's driving his fingers in and out of Sirius's hole without any resistence. “Are you ready?” he asks, taking them out. Sirius nods frantically. 

“Ok, here I come.” says, Remus, and he drives his whole erection straight into the intoxicating warmth of Sirius's arse. “Merlin's beard, I can't believe we're doing this.” he says, draping himself across Sirius's back. “I can't believe I get to fill you up even more.” he says, aggressively rubbing the underside of Sirius's belly. “Really blow you up, yeah? Do you want that?” 

Sirius moans and bucks his hips, trying to get Remus to start fucking him in earnest. Remus obliges, trying to restrain himself as much as possible for fear of hurting Sirius's hugely swollen form somehow. He can feel Sirius's hand working to bring him to an orgasm of his own, the task greatly complicated by the expanse of belly against which Sirius's erection rests. He angles himself carefully, in the hope of hitting Sirius's prostate, and then finally Sirius is climaxing convulsely under him, and the feeling of his arse clenching around Remus's dick makes Remus come explosively, several jets of sperm spurting inside Sirius already cramped insides. Sirius groans. 

“Get off me.” he urges, his hand clutching his rumbling stomach. “Moony, hurry, get it out.” he says, throwing himself on his back as soon as Remus does, his knees raised. His belly looks bigger and more bloated than ever, its surface contracting ominously. “I think it's starting”, he says, looking almost scared, and then with a grimace and a grunt he lets out the first fart.


	2. Chapter 2

“Was that all?” says Remus in disbelief, staring at Sirius's still gigantic belly. “One single fart?”

“I can't get it out.” whines Sirius, his knees drawn up to his chest, his stomach an almost perfect sphere between them, a pained look on his face. “It hurts so bad, but nothing is happening even if I push.” 

“Oh, man, Pads, I'm so sorry.” says Remus, putting his underwear back on. “Do you want me to go see if I can find a spell to make you feel better? Do you want to go sit on the toilet?” 

“I can't sit up.” says Sirius, miserably. “I have to lie back, it hurts too much if I try to sit up. Moony, I feel like I'm about to explode, look at the size of me.” 

“Try and push.” says Remus soothingly, rubbing Sirius's poor bloated gut. “It's bound to come out sooner or later.” he adds, looking at Sirius' still slightly gaping hole. “I can play with your arse if you want to, it could be that the stimulation helped you a bit earlier?” 

“Yeah, thanks, I would like that.” says Sirius with a small smile, but before Remus has the time to start they hear the woosh of someone arriving via Floo Network and then a voice coming from the living room. 

“Pads?” says James. “Moony? Are you in there?” 

“Yeah.” calls Sirius. “In the bedroom.” 

A few second of silence, and then James appears in the doorway, his belly so swollen that he looks full term with twins. Remus feels his eyebrows shoot up. 

“Prongs, you're _huge_.” he says, as he watches James lie down next to Sirius. “You're even bigger than Sirius, how did that happen?” 

“I had a triple helping of the stew.” says James, his face pallid and slightly shiny with sweat. “Pads, have you been able to fart at all? I'm starting to get worried.” 

“Just the one time.” says Sirius, wincing as a particularly harsh cramp hits him. “After Moony here very kindly fucked me. We were just about to start up again, I really do think it helped – undo your trousers, Prongs, are you insane? How did they even manage to stay buttoned? Moony, help him.” 

“Moony, would you fuck me too?” says James in whiny tone, as Remus helps him out of his tight trousers. His stomach is so distended that the skin his sweatshirt can't cover looks almost shiny. “I really need you to help me fart.” 

“Hey!” protests Sirius. “He's _my_ boyfriend, he's going to help _me_ first. Right, babe?” 

“I don't know, Pads.” says Remus, fairly, his dick once again hard and throbbing. “Look at how bigger than you he is, I think he needs it more.” 

“He's not bigger than I am.” says Sirius, automatically, but then he takes a good look at James and his eyes go wide. “Are you sure you don't have a whole troll in there, Prongs? I can see it move from here.” 

Remus looks at the bottom of James's belly, where he can see the bubbles of gas moving under the skin. Sirius has one hand on his own pregnant looking stomach, and one on James's, palpating it carefully. James is laying still, apparently unable to further contribute to the conversation. 

“Yeah, Moony, go ahead, do him first.” says Sirius, once again wincing. He tries hitching up his knees again, but his belly is now too swollen for him to do it properly, so he settles for laying back with his knees bent, his position and demeanour strongly reminiscent of someone in labour. 

“Ok, Prongs.” says Remus, sliding James's underwear off and lubricating his hand. “I'm going to stick my fingers up your arse, see if that starts you up somehow. Are you cool with it?” 

“Yeah.” says James, weakly. He appears to be breathing very shallowly, Remus notices, probably because of how swollen his insides are. 

“Ok.” says Remus, feeling both slightly concerned and extremely horny. “Here comes the first finger.” 

It takes a while to get James, who only occasionally dabbles in activities of that sort, to relax enough for Remus' finger to slip past his ring of muscle. When it finally happens, he lets out a moan. 

“He's good, eh?” says Sirius, smirking. “And just wait until he gets his dick in – _ouch_.” 

“Love, I'm coming for you next.” says Remus, rubbing the underside of Sirius's cramping gut with his free hand. “Just hold on a bit longer, alright?” 

James groans, both hands on his bloated stomach, his eyes silently begging Remus to focus on him. Remus adds a second and then a third finger and drives them in and out of him, until he's satisfied that James's hole is ready for him. He stops fingering him and gets rid of his own underwear. 

“Ok, Jamie, this might hurt a bit.” he cautions, placing one of James's legs on each of his own shoulders. “But hopefully it will make you feel better.” he says, and he slids his erection into James's arse in one fluid motion, until the inflated underside of James's gut is pressed against his flat stomach. “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah.” says James, his face screwed up in discomfort but his dick very hard between his belly and Remus' body. “Fuck me.” 

“Yeah, fuck him.” says Sirius, who's apparently now trying to soothe his own pains by stroking himself. “Fuck him really good.” 

“Your wish is my command.” says Remus, with a grin, and he starts thrusting into James. It only takes a few minutes for James to come – great jets of jizz spattered all over the bloated orb of his stomach – and then Remus comes too, and he has hardly had time to get his spent dick out of James's arse before James lets out a truly tremendous fart, a look of pure bliss spreading over his face as air thunders out of him and his belly goes down several inches. 

“Phew.” he says, suddenly much more relaxed, patting his still impressively swollen gut. “Crack the window open, Moony, will you? I think I can feel a few more coming on.” 

But nothing more comes out of him, and soon he's just as riddled with cramps as Sirius is, their faces equally red with the vain effort of trying to push out more gas. Remus tries his best to help them, rubbing and pushing on their inflated bellies, playing with Sirius's hole, even conjuring a couple of dildos for them to use, all without any results. 

“I think it's the jizz that does the trick.” says Sirius eventually. “It's the only thing that has worked.” 

“Hear, hear.” says James. 

“So, what are you suggesting we do?” says Remus, both horny and exhausted. “I really don't think I have it in me to come more then maybe a couple more times tonight. Tops.” 

“Moony, my darling, you know there's a spell for that.” says Sirius, arching his back seductively so that his stomach sticks out like a great swollen ball. Remus, who hasn't bothered putting his undewear on again, feels his dick start to rise. Sirius winks. 

“Oh, alright.” says Remus, giving in and reaching for his wand. “I'm casting the spell on all three of us, and I'll take turns fucking you two until you're back to normal, but you owe me.” 

“Like this isn't a dream come true for you. Ok, do me now, my gut is _killing_ me.” says Sirius, sliding on his side with a leg lifted so that his stomach is resting on the mattress and his hole is displayed invitingly. Remus's spurts of sperm inside his intestines are rewarded with a sharp contraction of Sirius's stomach and a big gust of gas that comes rushing out of Sirius just as Sirius is coming all over his own belly. 

Then it's James's turn – Remus makes him go on all fours and ruts mercilessy into him, slapping the inflated sides of his gut just to hear him moan and groan under him – and then James too is farting with abandon, his belly now resembling that of a woman in her eighth month of pregnancy. 

“Well, this is working fairly well.” says Remus, coming back into the bedroom with a glass of water and an unwavering erection. “But I think at this point I would like some variety. You know, to make it even more fun for me. Prongs, stick it up Sirius's arse.” 

The sight – James's huge stomach resting on Sirius's backside as James tries to time his thrusts around his debilitating bouts of cramps – gets Remus so hot than he then insists on riding Sirius's dick, impaling himself on it while Sirius is still busy trying to pass the gas James's sperm has somehow disloged from his insides. 

“That's not fair.” says Sirius', his face screwed up in concentration as air trumpets out of him. Remus grins, pushing down sharply on his belly so that a few more bubbles of gas loudly escape Sirius's bloated intestines. Sirius winces, then sighs. “It's a waste.” 

“Yeah, but I'm horny.” says Remus, the effects of the spell he's cast compounding his natural inclinations. “And I think I've earned this, look at how much better you two are doing already.” 

“Still a long way to go.” comments James, who's frantically working a dildo in and out of his own arse. “Ugh, I wish this worked too.” he says, as a moan escapes his lips. 

“Don't worry, I'm doing you next.” promises Remus, and he starts to bounce happily on Sirius's dick. 

\------ 

“I wonder if we have any leftovers.” thinks Remus, hours later, as he makes his way to the kitchen. 

“Ooh, nice.” he says, opening the fridge to find a takeout container. The strenous exercise has made him ravenously hungry, and he polishes off the whole thing – some kind of thick stew – without even bothering with a heating charm. 

“And now, finally, off to bed.” he comments, patting his hard, flat stomach – slightly sore from all the thrusting and bucking he has been forced to do over the previous hours. On the bed, their expressions serene and with just a trace of bloating around their middles as a reminder of their recent inflated state, Sirius and James lie fast asleep. Remus lies down between them, his head feeling very heavy with sleep, his mind swirling with images of the incredible night they have just had. 

“Goodnight, boys.” he murmurs, and just as he's starting to drift off he feels the first twinge inside his stomach.


End file.
